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May 7, 2009
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one.

I wish you could see that you aren't empty.  You're not worthless.  But everytime you say it, you just forget a little bit more.  I can't hold you up forever.  I won't always be around.

[You have to learn to live your own life, I can't keep doing it for you]

two.

I still remember those sun drenched days, and starry nights.  I still remember your voice, and the words we used to say.  And sometimes I still remember the regret and pain.  I try not to, but I can't help it.  I prayed for you the other night.  I wish you weren't so gone, even when you're not.

[How can so much regret remain?]

three.

I wish I could understand this thing called a heart.  Because I know I don't get mine.  You've been gone so long.  All I want is to hear you say hello.  But I can't.  You're never here.

[Whatever here means...]

four.

You always get so upset when we don't have the time to talk about everything.  I know you miss me, and I miss you too, but...  I wish I had all the time in the world.  But I don't.  I'm hoping someday you would find the right person for you, cause it seems every second I turn around you're crying over someone else.  And I can't hold you forever.

[Even if I try]

five.

I wish I wasn't just words to you.  Scratched words on a piece of paper is all you'll ever know.  But you're too much to just whisper at, and I don't know what I'm saying.  I never know what I'm saying.  You're just you, and I wish that you were mine.

[Because you never can be]

six.

Sometimes we're both so full of silence I think I understand you, but then... everything turns upside down.  You go one way, and then another.  I can't even understand at all who you are.  Someday, maybe?

[But only if you'll show me]

seven.

How can you see so much good in me?  How can you find in me all the places that are left unbroken?  I can't see them myself.  Somedays I wish you could find the real me.

[But you know we're both broken]

eight.

Somedays I wonder if we've passed beyond the realm of casual friends or not.  I never really know.  It's like moments we are deeper, but not for long.  I just don't understand how it could work out that way.

[Like a rope playing tugawar with no one]

nine.

How can you see so little good in the world, and yet so much in it's people?  Everyday, you find the little things in people that make us all remember just how much we're worth, but you fail to see that in the rest of the world.  You always are in so much pain, and so much agony over what you failed to do, when you can't see past the gray into the things you've always done.

[Someday maybe you'll see]

ten.

I feel like I've known you for years, despite the fact we just met only a few months ago.  I still remember the first time we talked.  But I don't remember anything we said.  It doesn't matter though, that's not the point.  You're a great friend, and I wish that I could ever match up to all of who you are.

[We never did answer that question...]

eleven.

I wish that you would see the real me.  I know you see the me I've made myself to be, but not the one I am inside.  I don't even try to hide it anymore.  But we're so conditioned to acting a certain way...  I'm not even sure what's broken inside, and yet I know that I'm not ok.  I can feel it.

[And you never seem to notice]
So I'm catching on the bandwagon of the whole "write something to eleven people that you would never tell them and leave it all anonymous."

*shrugs* most of these people aren't even on dA, but that's ok. Maybe I'll do one specifically for dA people some time?
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:icontalentedthruhim:
TalentedThruHIM Featured By Owner Aug 15, 2011  Student General Artist
It's totally all those things we all leave unsaid. Those things we can't seem to figure out how to say aloud, but they're so easy to write on paper. I have a million poems and other random snippets of writing where I just POURED MY HEART OUT and it was so easy. But I could never say any of it out loud. I guess we're all afraid. Afraid of what the other person might think? No, that's not it. Afraid of it not being the right time? No, never that. Afraid that we'll get hurt? Nah, it's not that. I think we're afraid of ourselves. I mean that's what I'M afraid of. Afraid of what we'll do. Afraid that it's not the right time for us. Afraid that we'll hurt someone else. Afraid that what we say doesn't matter to us. Because why should it? When the only things we actually ever say out loud mean nothing. So maybe, if we say those things out loud, they'll mean nothing too.
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
A heart that can't speak
because its bound by invisible chains.
A whisper that is left in darkness,
when we are called to live in the light
as children of the truth.
We are the embodiment of sorrow
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:icontalentedthruhim:
TalentedThruHIM Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Student General Artist
So true. *smiles my half smile*
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:hug: :heart:
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:icontalentedthruhim:
TalentedThruHIM Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Student General Artist
Yay! I got a hug :P
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Of course :huggle: Hugs are amazing.
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:icontalentedthruhim:
TalentedThruHIM Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Student General Artist
:ninjabattle: So are ninjas :P
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I call black ninja!

Hmm. I wonder if deviant art has a ninja hug emote..

[link]

[link]

[link]

:)
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(1 Reply)
:iconredfawkes:
RedFawkes Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
"sun drenched days, and starry nights"
god, J, this is fabulous. :heart: :+favlove:

probably my favourite line: "I wish you weren't so gone, even when you're not."
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:iconplatinummyr:
platinummyr Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:blush::blush::blush::blushes::blush::blush::blush:

Yeah, that line has a significance to me.
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